The addiction to heavy, stressful conversations is so prevalent in this world that happy conversations are often looked at with suspicion.

Many people picked up the message that they are in a competition, and sometimes that means who has it worse.

To get attention via sympathy and the urge to tell others how bad it is.

It may be that you only got attention when you were sick, in trouble, or causing drama. It is a normal human need to be seen, heard, and feel understood.

But, connecting through problems can become an addiction. You may get some of those needs met for a while but then you will habitually need to talk about problems and complain each time you’re having a conversation.

And what do you think doing that will create in your world? Yep, more problems, unhappiness, and disappointment. 

Let me clarify, if you need help ask for it! If something is bothering you, speak up.

But, if you find yourself dumping on others chronically and not wanting anything to change that’s not ...

What is your current relationship with food?

Is that something you ever think about? Did those questions annoy you, overwhelm you, or do you just not care?

It’s important to know how you’re looking at this topic, even if you feel uncomfortable.

Food is obviously something we need in order to survive. And it can certainly be experienced with a mix of pleasure, discomfort and shame.

How you relate to food is deeply entwined with your childhood experiences. But, I have also done many clearings of ancestral patterns of starvation traumas that have caused ongoing issues in people's lives.

The point is to be open to how your beliefs about food have been created.

Then you can see what, if anything, you’d like to change. 

Even if you have a great relationship with food, I have noticed that times of high stress can activate patterns that can be unhealthy if continued long-term.

It is a good idea to drop the beliefs of good and bad foods.

Yes, you could have a food allergy and you’d wan...

Do you find yourself blaming others for how you feel?

Thinking if this or that person were different then you’d be in a better mood, more successful, or that your entire life would be different?

If you don’t think you do this, I encourage you to pay attention and notice the subtle ways you actually are making others the cause in your reality. 

Yes, we are all programmed in childhood. And we carry loads of cellular memories from our ancestors which can and does impact our life and choices.

But, you do not have to let all those things control what you choose in your own life now.

It is important that you admit if you feel abused, cheated and angry about your upbringing and family dynamics. Then you must decide if you want to wallow in that forever, or dig deeper to free yourself from perpetuating these cycles.

Increasing your awareness can be scary and uncomfortable.

But, it is also one of the most life changing things you can choose. I’ve found that if you weren’t judging what yo...

What does being successful mean to you?

There’s no right or wrong answer to that; however, you’ve probably noticed success is often equated with money.

Also being envied by others, having some sort of reputation that you have value, wealth, or influence and voila you’re successful!

But, you must decide what kind of life you want to live. Too many people are working jobs they hate or have outgrown.

Giving the illusion that they are living this fabulous life, but miserable behind the scenes. And one thing I know for certain; if you’re not truly inspired by the path you’re on you will stop yourself one way or another.

What if you stop comparing yourself to everyone else’s seemingly amazing life and follow what’s true for your highest life vision?

I know it can feel scary to admit that maybe you’re not happy with how things are going.

Especially if tons of time and money were invested into a certain path.

But it's even more scary to look back over your life with regret.

Wish...

Many years ago I had a serious fear of abandonment.

It would often show up as me feeling concerned that people were mad at me, for no particular reason.

Which meant I had done something bad and would result in being left.

And when my mom died it obviously amplified much of those feelings.

I had this deep hurt inside that felt as if I had done something wrong, otherwise: my mom wouldn’t have died.

Not logical at all, but feelings aren’t logical.

The anxiety around others I cared about suddenly leaving me started to show up as an energy of chasing, insecurity, and distraction.

I mostly experienced this in friendships.

But, I know countless people, mostly women, who sit by the phone obsessing over a love interest calling or texting them.

You could read about attachment styles, rehash years or lifetimes of trauma but thankfully none of that is really necessary.

The crux of it is that if you are chasing people, wondering if they like you, anxiously awaiting their reply and...

I want to take a look at a common pattern but from a different perspective.

Fighting for your stories.

You know the ones.

The negative, terrible, everything is against you type of stories.

The ones that we all tell sometimes, because they just seem SO TRUE and based on facts. 

You know, our brains actually have a mechanism that will seek to prove us right, whether good or bad.

And the truth is, you are right about whatever you believe.

To you it is absolutely true.

But, do you want to keep experiencing negative or scary stories and create more to match that? 

You might say of course you want to think more positively.

But what I have found is that you may not actually want to change it.

Because you’re looking for someone to witness your pain and suffering.

To tell you that you’re justified in feeling how you do, that of course you were wronged.

Or, to allow another human to witness your story and confirm that your feelings matter.

Which they absolutely do matter!

When creating do you wonder if other people will like it?

Sure you do!

Of course you want people to like your post, video, or even a nice meal you’ve made.

But, have you noticed how stressful that can be to always try to do everything to please others?

What if you started creating things from the vantage point of what lights you up?!

What exactly do I mean by that?

Create things that are interesting and inspiring to you.

When you do it that way you will find it much easier to create and others will be magnetized to your excitement. 

Too many people are focused and pushing the method of trying to figure out what everyone else wants.

But there’s no way really to know what others want all the time.

And where are you in the equation?

Do you really want to sit around making content, or anything that isn’t firstly pleasing to you?

I certainly don’t! 

Also, others can sense when you aren’t really into something and it is generally a repellent.

I’m not saying you need ...

It’s so easy to be busy these days.

But, do you really need to be that busy?

In a world where hustle, pushing and striving are touted as the key to success, you may think so. However, your body may have a different point of view. And it may be giving you messages asking you to slow down.

If you are feeling burnt out, having sleep issues, aches, pains, or anxiety.

Your body is giving you some clear messages that something needs to change.

Being chronically busy is a problem that I see many people experiencing.

But, very few actually want to admit it.

Which makes sense considering the busyness is a protective mechanism used to avoid uncomfortable things. 

Yes, we are all busy at times.

However: needing to fill your calendar to the brim and patterns of overworking and even excessive socializing are a sign that something is off. 

“Feeling the need to be busy all the time is a trauma-based response and fear-based distraction from what you’d be forced to acknowledge and fe...

Do you get distracted easily?

I used to be easily distracted and I would chronically multitask.

There’s nothing wrong with that. I just began to notice that there was never a shortage of someone or something ready to take my attention away from things that truly mattered to me.

I wasted years of my life doing what others wanted and adding great value and support to their world. I’m not blaming them, I simply didn’t know.

I did often feel drained, lost and like my purpose was to be others' side-kick in making their life more enjoyable and successful.

It was tricky because I truly enjoyed helping people and didn’t want to stop altogether.

But, somehow my needs and goals got pushed to the side and my investment of  energy, kindness and time were very out of balance. 

Even things that are important to you need to be balanced. And if you don’t value your time nobody else will.

From constant phone notifications, errands to run, traffic, and making time to eat.

It can all get...

I’m sure you’ve heard of procrastination and you’ve probably done it a few times in your life.

But, did you know that procrastination can be related to a trauma response.

Yes, trauma again, everyone has trauma to varying degrees, it’s just now getting more attention.

Rather than feeling hopeless that everything is a trauma.

Realize that awareness is a power you can utilize to absolutely change your life and habitual patterns, no matter the circumstances.

So, back to procrastination.

There are times you just don’t want to do something and so you put it off.

That's not what I’m talking about here.

I’m talking about chronic situations of things that truly need to be done but you’re allowing them to pile up. It could be work tasks, errands, cleaning or anything really.

Times where you find yourself feeling unable to do the thing.

You may suddenly get very tired and need a nap, feel the urge to call anyone as an excuse to avoid the task at hand.

Things that you actually...