There’s this pervasive lie that your life should be on a strict timetable. 

That you should have specific experiences regarding success, love, money, and education.

Or even starting a family according to someone else’s desires and rules.

If you don’t do these things it supposedly means you’ve failed and you’ll be judged and pitied by others. Because you are behind in life and somehow flawed.

None of that feels good and that’s because it isn’t true! 

Everyone is programmed and told what to think, feel, and do through words and energy in childhood. Also through cellular memory from our ancestors. 

Our loved ones are mostly teaching us what they know and many restrictive beliefs are passed down unknowingly under the guise that they will be best for us to believe in the long run.

So you do all the things you were taught would bring all the success, money, love, and contentment.

But, why do you feel so unfulfilled? 

The most common things I see are those who did all the things ...

You’ve probably heard the saying that “what you resist persists.”

But have you really thought about what that means or how resistance could be showing up in your daily life?

I also like to think of it as the watched pot never boils.

Well yes, because you are observing it not boiling and waiting for it to boil.

Which keeps you stuck in the current waiting.

You must take your attention off of the things you want and don’t currently have, in order to disentangle from the state of lack/wanting and trying to get. 

Shift into the focus and feeling that it's’ mine, I’m having that!

Not, oh I want that thing, oh boo I don’t have it, now I’m sad and I’ll just sit here slumped thinking about others that have what I want. 

Or, going in the other direction, super determined to get it no matter what!

But, you’re actually trying to get it the hard way.

Work more, convince others to give it to you etc. 

Instead, convince yourself that you already have it.

There are numerous ways t...

Recently I was having a conversation with someone who was worried that an important package was lost or wouldn't get to its destination on time.

They were visibly stressed and I could tell that they had decided that it was out of their control.

The post office may or may not figure it out, but it was left up to chance at this point.

I suggested that this person imagine that instead of them being told that their package was delayed, see or hear that the package has already quickly and easily arrived at its destination.

They looked back at me perplexed as they were still trying to figure out how.

I reminded them that how it will happen is NOT their job and just decide that it is done!

It is already figured out and embody the feeling of relief that the mail is already delivered.

Within 45 min they emailed me to say how blown away they were that the post office had in fact reached out shortly after our call to say the mail was found and would be delivered on time! 

I hear and ...

Have you ever pondered why you have such a great dynamic with one person and are terribly annoyed with another? 

The answer is simple.

Your dominant stories about people are different.

Those you have happy fun positive thoughts and expectations about will predominantly play that role in your world.

While those you think are mean, annoying, flaky etc. will keep showing up that way. 

Nope, not because that’s just who they are but because you can only see and call forth the version of them you keep expecting, mostly subconsciously.

Now, I’m not saying it's always easy to see someone in a different light, especially if you’ve got plenty of proof that they are just the flaky jerk type person.

But, if you really want a better relationship with anyone, you must see them differently than you have been.

Side Note: This takes some work and you may choose that you don’t want to put in the effort. That is ok too. You get to choose who is in your life.

I’d like you to get out a noteb...

Do you ever wonder what to care about?

I love to say I don’t give a f*ck!

Jokingly and not so jokingly….

And zero f*cks given is a great idea but I actually want to care about things.

Don’t you?

Not caring or acting like you don’t care can be a protective mechanism.

Which is fine and understandable.

Maybe you’re worried that if you care too much you can be hurt or disappointed.

Perhaps you have past examples where you had your hopes up and suddenly it all went side-ways. So it’s just easier and safer to play it cool and detached.

But that’s no way to really live. Giving no F’s and being defensive.

We are meant to feel inspired and excited about things. And continuing to have your guard up and give attention to the “wrong things” will only bring you more of the same.

There’s a huge misconception that I see a lot of people subscribing to, mostly without ever questioning it.

The idea that you must tolerate and give tons of focus/attention to things you don’t like and f...

Do you tend to play small?

As a child were you told that you were too much?

Maybe you heard messages like; don’t say that, stop running around and being so loud.

Or, you might have been more naturally quiet and sensitive. Labeled as shy, passive. Picked on and told to loosen up and relax a bit more. 

Whatever the specific messages were for you at some point you decided that you’re too much of something and just not good enough.

Now that doesn’t mean that is your full identity and you walk around feeling terrible all day.

But, those energies of wondering if you will be too much, or doing something wrong, do run in the background of your mind and influence your daily habits.

Whatever you don’t accept about yourself others can show up and attack those parts.

Only because you judge and reject it within.

When you can allow the shameful, yucky, and “unwanted” parts to just be there without making them wrong; that is true freedom.

You hold yourself in bondage by pushing again...

It was fall of 2020 when I posed for this picture in a dazzling sequin jumpsuit.

It was warm and sunny in beautiful Los Angeles and I was so excited to finally do a photoshoot on a rooftop! 

I smiled, played and jumped around most of the time like everything was fine.

But this particular picture captured how I truly felt at the time.

I was in pain, lots of pain actually. Yes, there was emotional pain but the physical pain was the worst I have ever experienced.

Multiple areas of my body were screaming for my attention and I had barely begun to listen.

I won’t go into the details, perhaps I will later…

I’m an extremely aware person and I check in with myself multiple times a day, but I didn’t want to know what I knew back then.

I had seriously overgiven certain people and I could feel my life-force being sucked out of me.

I have always been very physically strong and resilient.

I knew I could handle anything. But, I didn’t stop to think that, just because I can, doesn’t ...

How do you know if you’re self sabotaging?

Well, if you’re alive you do it, at least some of the time.

There are conscious and unconscious ways that you could be keeping yourself stuck, probably a mixture of both.

Behind the numerous ways this pattern can show up is the goal of preventing hurt.

Common fears like, loss of relationships, health, money, and reputation… all of those things would hurt.

And a part of you has decided it is safer to stay where you are and not risk anything.

You may very well want the thing and put in lots of effort to get it but unconscious parts of you can override your efforts and stop you in your tracks.

You’ve somehow received the message that stepping outside your (comfort zone) is dangerous and your thoughts, at least subconsciously, lean more towards the “negative” .

Instead of being or staying excited you get hit with tons of thoughts about how it can and probably will all go wrong.

That you’re an idiot for even trying and you should retreat i...

Are you feeling exhausted most days?

Frustrated that you never have time for yourself to do things that bring you joy.

Your responsibilities keep piling up and your resentment and overwhelm is growing too..

Thoughts about how it can’t possibly change. “I don’t have more hours in the day and I can’t let people down.”

Continuously beating yourself up, saying that you’ve failed to do it all. “Something must be wrong with you. Look at others, they seem to have it all figured out.

Guess what, nobody has it all figured out.

Sure, some people have more help and have found systems that work for them.

But I can guarantee you that everyone has had times in their lives that they felt overwhelmed and unsure of what to do next.

So what can you do?......

The first step to changing anything is to first acknowledge that you’d like something different.

Regardless of the topic or area of life.

You suddenly realize in a big or more subtle way that something just isn’t working for you a...

Have you noticed that when people tell you to be realistic what they’re really saying is; don’t get your hopes up or you’ll surely be disappointed.

Getting what you truly want and things turning out well are way too often associated with wishful thinking and being unrealistic.  

Maybe you’ve had well meaning friends or family poop on your parade when you shared a goal or dream.

They pleaded their case and assured you they only wanted what was best for you.

Sharing stories about how they’ve learned to spot when things are too good to be true. 

But, if you believe the truth/fact is unwanted/negative and the preferred or positive is a lie or fantasy that’s what you will create!

If you want differently, you must be willing to think for yourself and possibly appear delusional to others.

One of the greatest gifts my mother gave me was encouraging my imagination.

She’d ask me things and when I’d answer with wild vivid stories; she’d always respond with the biggest smile and say “W...