It wasn’t a sudden awareness, perhaps that would have been easier.

Instead it was this consistent twinge that something wasn’t working for me anymore.

Underneath it all I thought if I admitted how I felt that I’d disappoint others.

Which could be true. But, I couldn’t go on disappointing myself. 

Little by little things that used to bring me joy began to feel heavy and flat.

I’m very good with feeling my feelings and processing things.

But, I had numerous experiences that showed others couldn’t handle me unless I was a specific way and showing up for them.

So I got very good at handling my own stuff, which is a plus in many ways.

There is so much that goes into writing these emails and blogs.

I always send the energy out that you will benefit in some way from what I share. Except I sometimes forget to ask myself what I can receive from them. 

Just as over consumption of things can be harmful to our health, so can excessive output of even creative ideas and insights. I ...

Summertime is depicted as this bright happy time.

Full of lively colors, sounds, with lots of travel and play in the sunshine.

But, for many, myself included the heat and intense energy of summer can create anxiety and even sadness.

We can carry memories and associations with the seasons that anchor us into repeating or expecting to feel a certain way.

If you experienced lots of stress, loss or upheaval when the weather was a particular way it can create a palpable reminder of that time in your life.

If you’ve ever felt depression or another feeling/emotion at the same time each year they could be related to a past event. 

I see it as our body’s replaying a program that wants to be resolved.

I don’t think we need to suffer through traumatic feelings for the rest of our lives. I believe that when feelings come up, they are wanting to be released.  

According to Traditional Chinese medicine. Early summer is associated with the heart and small intestines organs.

The emotio...

One night I was walking down the dark hallway of my parents' home.

My mind wasn’t really focused on anything in particular.

But, what happened next is still one of the most profound experiences I have ever had. 

Suddenly I had a full body knowing, somewhat visually, that I was going to lose all the weight I had gained and that my stomach and skin would tighten up.

It’s difficult to explain in words but I know it as I was witnessing a parallel version of me and my life.

I had no idea how I would accomplish this weight loss and body transformation.

I just knew at that moment that it was done. 

I had gained 30lbs in one month and my stress levels were increasing daily.

I could barely walk without my calves burning and feeling like they would explode.

The doctor's only advice was for me to walk home from his office, which was probably 10 miles.

Not helpful and completely dismissed the chronic fatigue I was experiencing.

That’s like telling someone who’s gasping for air ...

If there is one quote, actually a line in an old country song, that could sum up the stories I’ve heard over the years around relationships it would be….'Cause I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places.” Johnny Lee- Lookin’ For Love.

Most of the conversations I’ve had in sessions stem from you looking for love and approval from someone else.

Sure, you want love and approval from others, but you actually must have it from yourself.

You’ve been taught to desperately fixate on having that man or woman love you.

Only then can you feel worthy and safe. Big problem, not true!

If you don’t deal with your baggage and triggers they will follow you into every relationship.

You are the common factor. I don’t care what some top dating expert says.

You don’t have to play games, and everyone is not a narcissist!

Yes, there are abusive people out there but your knee jerk reaction of blaming them for everything has got to go!

Take responsibility for what you are allowing into your ...

My love/hate relationship with being seen started when I was very young.

I’m naturally an artistic musical person who loves to play and share those gifts with others. But early on I experienced many situations that made being seen feel very dangerous.

In middle school the teachers would punish us by forcing us to sit on a big stage. It was in the lunchroom while everyone else was eating, meant to humiliate whoever was “in trouble”.

To make it worse we had to sit with our backs to the room. I had terrible anxiety at the time and having my back to a room full of kids caused me to freeze instantly!

I tried not to move, I took shallow breaths and prayed I could just disappear. 

Sometimes my friends would come to the stage and pick on me.

I was annoyed and afraid I’d get into more trouble for their actions.

I’d suddenly be hit with even more overwhelming stress responses in my body that caused me to dissociate.

Thankfully I only had to sit on that stage 2 maybe 3 times.

But ...

Have you ever met someone and it was immediately obvious that they were gonna be a lot to deal with?

You know the ones, lots of drama around them, constant problems.

Sure, they have many great qualities too, confident, smart, often go-getter types.

But, you are on alert because you already see how this person operates and you know what to expect.

This  relationship feels like being a flash fried frog.

You know you’re in scalding hot oil from the beginning.

You get splashed in the face with grease from the moment you met them so you weren’t really surprised when you got burnt, repeatedly.

Well I’d like to talk about another type of person.

The one who shows up as genuine, caring, and the opposite of the person mentioned above.

This relationship is like being a slow boiled frog (Side Note- no frogs were harmed in this story) They are sweet, caring, and way more calm than the first person.

They invite you in, listen to your problems.

They offer help, which makes you f...

Not everyone is trying to control you or keep you small.

Some people can see where you are making not great choices and they have the courage to speak up and share that with you.

I’ve seen too many social media posts making generalized statements.

Assuming that everyone is making great choices and knows what is healthy or right for them. 

That friends, family or anyone who doesn’t agree with their choice is wrong and just jealous and trying to stop their master plan of greatness.

Encouraging you to be impulsive and live life on your terms.

Great, do that but don’t be surprised if things often blow up in your face.

Unhealthy patterns can give you a rush and a high, those signs aren’t necessarily an accurate indication that you’re on the “right path".

And feeling uncomfortable or afraid doesn't always mean you’re on the wrong path.

If you want real positive lasting change in your life you have to take responsibility for your choices.

Drop the excuses, stop victimizing y...

Last year I made the choice to slow down.

I cut back on work and made healing from trauma and regulating my nervous system top priority.

A few years ago I had a bizarre, very painful physical accident that caused me to see many things in a whole new light.

I had prided myself on always being strong.

Having lots of love, kindness, and support to give.

Even as my body was in so much pain and my nervous system was on high alert constantly. I kept working long hours and pushing myself to do more.

Last year I just couldn’t keep pushing anymore.

More accurately, I didn’t want to, so I didn’t. I felt every fiber of my being going into complete refusal to continue on as I had been.

You know how you get so used to being a certain way that you don’t even notice, until you can’t keep going? 

I hit that wall.

And could finally see how I had been operating and was prolonging my healing from this physical ailment. 

It was a huge awareness of how I had unknowingly put everyone else...

I don’t think I’ve ever really talked about my healing experiences in much detail.

But, I wanted to share a few things that would have been great to know earlier on in my journey.

I am grateful to be aware of these things now and I think you might benefit from them too.

4 things I wish I knew when I started energy healing:

1.)There’s nothing wrong with me- I am not flawed and need to be fixed.

I wish I’d known much sooner to look at “healing” from the perspective that I am simply choosing to be different and feel different.

That there’s nothing wrong with any version of me. That I am selecting how I want to experience life each moment.

This simple shift has allowed me to have way more fun doing energy clearings. And ease with changing things in my life.

2.) I don’t have to change it all in one clearing- Years ago I used to get so angry when something I had cleared popped back up again. How in the heck?!

I took the time to release all the energy and triggers around a cert...

Do you try to be all things to all people? Only to be hit with the realization that maybe nobody actually knows you, and maybe you don’t even like who you’re being.

If you said yes, you’re probably experiencing some common childhood survival tactics of being a chameleon, entertaining and people pleasing.

Now there’s nothing wrong with being fun, entertaining, and making others laugh. It’s just good to be aware if you are laughing or making others laugh as a habit to keep you safe from uncomfortable feelings.

Once you’re aware you can decide to choose other ways of experiencing life.

Comedy, lightness and distractions have their place and can be very helpful sometimes.

But, at what point do you give yourself permission to express yourself honestly outside of fun or light emotions?

Maybe you've noticed, life isn’t always fun. And it can be very draining to feel you must always be light, bright and feel good all the time.

If you stub stub toe, you’re not going to feel great ab...