Addicted to Busyness

It’s so easy to be busy these days.

But, do you really need to be that busy?

In a world where hustle, pushing and striving are touted as the key to success, you may think so. However, your body may have a different point of view. And it may be giving you messages asking you to slow down.

If you are feeling burnt out, having sleep issues, aches, pains, or anxiety.

Your body is giving you some clear messages that something needs to change.

Being chronically busy is a problem that I see many people experiencing.

But, very few actually want to admit it.

Which makes sense considering the busyness is a protective mechanism used to avoid uncomfortable things. 

Yes, we are all busy at times.

However: needing to fill your calendar to the brim and patterns of overworking and even excessive socializing are a sign that something is off. 

“Feeling the need to be busy all the time is a trauma-based response and fear-based distraction from what you’d be forced to acknowledge and feel if you slowed down.” - Maxine Carter

That quote is something that I experienced first-hand in 2013.

My mother had suddenly gotten sick and I found myself constantly running from here to there.

Anything to keep myself busy and moving.

If I had to be home, I would be reading a book or on my phone constantly to try and distract myself.

I could literally feel the adrenaline saturating my body,

I’d wake up sick to my stomach and could barely eat anything for the entire day.

It was so uncomfortable but it seemed less painful than acknowledging the fact that my mom was dying and would soon be gone.

Here are a few reasons that I have heard and noticed over the years that contribute to busyness addiction:

Relationship issues- Romantic and Platonic

Health issues- Yours or a loved one

Money problems

Family Drama

Keep in mind that it is your own beliefs about what you're avoiding that cause the need to run away from it.

For me, the fact my mom was dying was just too much to process at that time.

I knew it was happening but too many other stressful things were happening simultaneously.

Whether someone else sees it as a big or small stressor is inconsequential. It only matters how you perceive the situation. 

For example: If you’re feeling unhappy in your relationship; you could talk to your partner.

But, if you feel they never listen, or you always end up in a fight.

You could avoid acknowledging how unhappy you are because it feels hopeless.

Or, it may bring up bigger choices of possible separation and that might feel all sorts of uncomfortable emotions. 

On some level you have decided that whatever you would be aware of would be too much.

Perhaps it would cause too much upheaval in your life to truly admit the intensity of feelings that have been bottled up.

Interestingly many people have told me they journal a lot, meditate and still they aren’t aware of what is bothering them.

Well, that’s because part of you has decided it is dangerous to know.

Exactly why I am always regulating clients nervous systems and helping them embody safety and reaffirming that it is safe to know and feel their feelings. 

Finding ways to establish safety and trust within yourself is life changing.

How do you do that?

Talk to yourself, soothe yourself and stop judging any feelings as good or bad.

We end up becoming the mean parent or bully within our own minds.

But we can just as easily choose to become the safe space of unconditional love for ourselves.

It is safe to be aware.

And when you admit that you have some thoughts and feelings about people and situations that you judge as bad, wrong and horrible you will set yourself free!

No, you don’t have to tell others all the down and dirty details but you do need to stop condemning yourself about it. 

Be kind to yourself and take time to let old energies release from your body and life. It truly is a choice away.

If you’d like some support with clearing our layers of trauma, Check out my Trauma Release Audio!