It’s ALL about You!

Have you ever pondered why you have such a great dynamic with one person and are terribly annoyed with another? 

The answer is simple.

Your dominant stories about people are different.

Those you have happy fun positive thoughts and expectations about will predominantly play that role in your world.

While those you think are mean, annoying, flaky etc. will keep showing up that way. 

Nope, not because that’s just who they are but because you can only see and call forth the version of them you keep expecting, mostly subconsciously.

Now, I’m not saying it's always easy to see someone in a different light, especially if you’ve got plenty of proof that they are just the flaky jerk type person.

But, if you really want a better relationship with anyone, you must see them differently than you have been.

Side Note: This takes some work and you may choose that you don’t want to put in the effort. That is ok too. You get to choose who is in your life.

I’d like you to get out a notebook and do a quick brain dump of whatever comes to mind regarding relationships.

Getting a quick and unfiltered insight to your current energy.

Exercise 1. Relationships are….For example,

• They are easy, fun, and I feel supported most of the time or except when...
• I don’t really trust people; they always use me and let me down. I feel I have to play small to keep the peace…. 
• Some people are amazing and others I have issues with because…

After doing the first exercise you will have so much more clarity about where you’re currently operating from.

Do you see how what you’ve written has been reflected back to you in your life?

Those stories, and many more, are in your unconscious and create your world.

Acknowledging the unwanted stories is the first step in determining what you’d like to create instead.

What do you actually want out of your relationships?

I don’t know many people who have asked themselves that question, let alone sat down to write it out.

If you really want to uplevel your connections then I encourage you to do this exercise

Exercise 2. I’m choosing Relationships that are…For example,

• I’d love to have family and friends that celebrate my success. 
• Work dynamics that are safe and inspiring
• A romantic partner who is kind, loving and loyal.

Those are just some examples to get you started.

Please take the time to do this and get clear for yourself.

I cannot emphasize how important it is to get clear of what you actually want.

Too much time is spent focusing on problems.

What you don’t like.

It is great info to have but then you have to ask...

So what do I want??

Then decide I am having this no matter what!!