Courage To Be Visible

My love/hate relationship with being seen started when I was very young.

I’m naturally an artistic musical person who loves to play and share those gifts with others. But early on I experienced many situations that made being seen feel very dangerous.

In middle school the teachers would punish us by forcing us to sit on a big stage. It was in the lunchroom while everyone else was eating, meant to humiliate whoever was “in trouble”.

To make it worse we had to sit with our backs to the room. I had terrible anxiety at the time and having my back to a room full of kids caused me to freeze instantly!

I tried not to move, I took shallow breaths and prayed I could just disappear. 

Sometimes my friends would come to the stage and pick on me.

I was annoyed and afraid I’d get into more trouble for their actions.

I’d suddenly be hit with even more overwhelming stress responses in my body that caused me to dissociate.

Thankfully I only had to sit on that stage 2 maybe 3 times.

But it was horrible and created so many fears and negative connections around being seen.

The fear of being seen is a very common issue for many people.

Not necessarily the fear of being seen in general.

But, the fear of messing up, potential public humiliation, and negative comments on social media etc. 

The good news is…You don’t have to be seen on a large scale in order to be successful.

There are numerous people who are very successful and generate large amounts of money and impact in the world that are unknown to the general public.

Instead of assuming you must be visible I encourage you to get clear on what defines success for you.

Do you want to be seen by more people or even famous?

Great, but being known by many and having a large following does not necessarily mean you are successful.

Get a piece of paper and list out what success is to you. 

Is it a certain amount of money?

Followers, being interviewed on tv or for a magazine?

Having a family, opening a restaurant?

There are no limits and nobody else can tell you what is right for you. 

On another piece of paper; on the left side write all the reasons it is unsafe for you to be seen.

Now, on the right side list any positives that would come from allowing yourself to be seen in bigger ways or by different people.

You can also note any good memories around being visible.

Looking for more evidence of the good will ensure you find it!

Being visible doesn’t have to be scary.

You get to decide how you want to be seen in the world!  If you’d like my help to release fears around visibility you can book a private session here.