Maybe it Starts With You

If there is one quote, actually a line in an old country song, that could sum up the stories I’ve heard over the years around relationships it would be….'Cause I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places.” Johnny Lee- Lookin’ For Love.

Most of the conversations I’ve had in sessions stem from you looking for love and approval from someone else.

Sure, you want love and approval from others, but you actually must have it from yourself.

You’ve been taught to desperately fixate on having that man or woman love you.

Only then can you feel worthy and safe. Big problem, not true!

If you don’t deal with your baggage and triggers they will follow you into every relationship.

You are the common factor. I don’t care what some top dating expert says.

You don’t have to play games, and everyone is not a narcissist!

Yes, there are abusive people out there but your knee jerk reaction of blaming them for everything has got to go!

Take responsibility for what you are allowing into your life.

Don’t simply brush it off as the other person is flawed or broken and they appeared in your life by accident. 

Now, with that being said. The flip side I’ve seen lots of is….

That’s right, making excuses for the other person.

Ladies, I’m gonna call you out. Mostly because I work with more women than men.

The soul mate twin flame thing has gotten out of hand.

What I have seen is women making themselves sick over a supposed special spiritual connection but it's straight up abuse!

Their nerves get dysregulated and all sorts of hormones are pumping into their bodies, often signaling danger. But they think it's love. 

I know I’ve probably pissed off a few people over the years by calling this out, but you are very welcome!

I care enough to tell you that something isn’t healthy.

Maybe your friends and family will lie to you or are afraid to bring it up for fear of upsetting you.

But, if you really want healthy love it starts with you and it starts with raw honesty. 

• Are you clear on what you want? 
• How do you treat yourself? 
• What are the common themes that have played out in your love life over the years? 

Notice if those patterns are coming from a place of confidence and self acceptance, or fear and desperation.

If you have been tolerating things that are unhealthy; you can certainly change that loop.

But not by doing the same things that got you there in the first place.

Not more tarot readings, meditations to make a jerk your prince charming.

And not hopping from healer to healer if they don’t tell you what you want to hear.

Take a look at who you are being in your love life. See if how you’re showing up and acting matches real safe happy love.

If you are ready to have a truly healthy love connection with yourself and others.

Check out my Romancing you class!

Will it trigger you?

Maybe.

Will you learn how to have and maintain healthy genuine loving relationships,

Definitely!

But, you’ve got to choose it and keep choosing it.