The addiction to heavy, stressful conversations is so prevalent in this world that happy conversations are often looked at with suspicion.

Many people picked up the message that they are in a competition, and sometimes that means who has it worse.

To get attention via sympathy and the urge to tell others how bad it is.

It may be that you only got attention when you were sick, in trouble, or causing drama. It is a normal human need to be seen, heard, and feel understood.

But, connecting through problems can become an addiction. You may get some of those needs met for a while but then you will habitually need to talk about problems and complain each time you’re having a conversation.

And what do you think doing that will create in your world? Yep, more problems, unhappiness, and disappointment. 

Let me clarify, if you need help ask for it! If something is bothering you, speak up.

But, if you find yourself dumping on others chronically and not wanting anything to change that’s not ...

Do you find yourself blaming others for how you feel?

Thinking if this or that person were different then you’d be in a better mood, more successful, or that your entire life would be different?

If you don’t think you do this, I encourage you to pay attention and notice the subtle ways you actually are making others the cause in your reality. 

Yes, we are all programmed in childhood. And we carry loads of cellular memories from our ancestors which can and does impact our life and choices.

But, you do not have to let all those things control what you choose in your own life now.

It is important that you admit if you feel abused, cheated and angry about your upbringing and family dynamics. Then you must decide if you want to wallow in that forever, or dig deeper to free yourself from perpetuating these cycles.

Increasing your awareness can be scary and uncomfortable.

But, it is also one of the most life changing things you can choose. I’ve found that if you weren’t judging what yo...

I want to take a look at a common pattern but from a different perspective.

Fighting for your stories.

You know the ones.

The negative, terrible, everything is against you type of stories.

The ones that we all tell sometimes, because they just seem SO TRUE and based on facts. 

You know, our brains actually have a mechanism that will seek to prove us right, whether good or bad.

And the truth is, you are right about whatever you believe.

To you it is absolutely true.

But, do you want to keep experiencing negative or scary stories and create more to match that? 

You might say of course you want to think more positively.

But what I have found is that you may not actually want to change it.

Because you’re looking for someone to witness your pain and suffering.

To tell you that you’re justified in feeling how you do, that of course you were wronged.

Or, to allow another human to witness your story and confirm that your feelings matter.

Which they absolutely do matter!

Ahh family, sometimes you love them, and sometimes you pretend you were adopted by a lovely alien race and are waiting for them to come pick you up and take you out of this solar system LOL!

Seriously though, family can bring lots of beautiful moments and lots of confusion.

Even if you have a mostly great relationship with your family, there can still be many challenges and belief systems that are passed down through bloodlines, physically and energetically. 

One of the most common patterns I see is that of guilt.

Where certain family beliefs have been pushed upon others as a way to control their choices.

Much of this I believe is meant out of love, but is very fear based and controlling.

It feels yucky to have those you love telling you that they basically don’t trust you to navigate your own life and that they know better. 

So now let's check in and see what you think about your family.

Be honest, what do you say and think about them?

Do you notice if you have issues wi...

As a young girl I got the message that I was supposed to seek love and approval from outside of myself.

Sure, I was encouraged to be somewhat strong and independent, but not too much, or that would upset others. That my true worth came from others accepting me.

Well obviously that idea made me want to barf and I immediately realized something was VERY off with that way of operating. 

That way of living just wasn’t going to work for me.

I wasn’t sure exactly how I was going to navigate this world but I knew I wasn’t going to let others control me.

I spent years feeling like I constantly had to fight to be myself in a world where everything was telling me to be something else. From magazines, to television, school, and even church telling me something was wrong with me!l 

Maybe you got a similar message that something is not quite right with you and that someone else knows better. Their way of dressing is better, speaking, beliefs etc is somehow superior to yours.

That all feels l...

Do you ever wonder why you focus on the “bad stuff” so much?

That sometimes no matter how positive you try to be you find yourself bombarded with scary worrisome thoughts. And it all seems so valid and logical to keep hyperfocusing on the terrible things. It’s because, as a survival mechanism we are wired to focus on negative stimuli. 

As a kid I would daydream about any and all scenarios that I might find myself in, especially scary situations.

It was an attempt to keep myself safe.

I thought if I could figure out every possible thing that could happen in life and how I would respond, then maybe I could finally relax.

I was very aware of energy, others moods, and could see spirits from a very young age. All of the things that I see as beautiful skills and gifts now, were very overwhelming then. 

Also, if you are stressed out the tendency to have negative thoughts increases as higher cortisol levels contribute to scary and intrusive thoughts.

You may notice you have weird i...

A few days ago I was thinking about different times in my life when It seemed like I didn't get what I wanted.

Like the ex boyfriend I thought was amazing and would be the greatest guy for me. Only to realize that there was a way better relationship on the verge of appearing.

Or, getting all gung ho about becoming a personal fitness trainer. Then deciding I love to workout and stay healthy more than I enjoy training others. 

There’s nothing wrong with any of the things I mentioned.

They worked at the time and helped me to dream bigger and be more honest about how I prefer to create my life.

But, I did feel disappointed at first. And I’m sure you’ve felt the same way many times in your own life.

You may have put in a lot of time and energy to achieve a certain goal and then it didn’t happen. But, what if you just changed your mind and it is ok to change your mind!

What if instead of believing you tried so hard and then you didn’t get what you wanted you actually decided you ...

Did you know that it's not your job to figure out how you will get something?

Contrary to what many of us were taught; you don’t have to rack your brain trying to figure out every detail of how and when your desire will show up. 

The fastest way to get the things you want is to find ways to feel good now.

I know, how the heck are you supposed to feel good when you’re so stressed out?! 

Well, the key to that is getting your mind on something besides the “problem” you keep focusing on.

Your thoughts and feelings come from the state you are in.

Which is why the old saying goes

“We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." Albert Einstein

 

You may have to force yourself to stop ruminating on the unwanted. And force yourself to get busy cooking, cleaning, do a puzzle, dance or go for a walk. Anything really to get refocused on things that have nothing to do with what’s stressing you out.

Here are 3 ways to stop worrying f...

The human body has always fascinated me. I spent most of my teenage years devouring any information I could find about bodies and how they operate.

I loved reading magazine articles with tips to resolve common ailments and sharing them with my friends and family. 

Eventually I realized that so many, if not all of our physical ailments are created by trauma, beliefs, and ancestral patterns. 

I know trauma is a big word, but after years of studying, coaching/healing myself and others, it really is an obvious issue that needs to be addressed.

In order to begin releasing something you must first acknowledge that it even exists.

I know some people love to bury their head in the sand and swear that by avoiding something it makes it go away. I personally have NOT found that to be true. If that really works for you, have at it!

But, if you’d like to have more ease with your physical body and learn some things that have worked for me, keep reading

A great place to start is identifying ...

Do you tend to play small?

As a child were you told that you were too much?

Maybe you heard messages like; don’t say that, stop running around and being so loud.

Or, you might have been more naturally quiet and sensitive. Labeled as shy, passive. Picked on and told to loosen up and relax a bit more. 

Whatever the specific messages were for you at some point you decided that you’re too much of something and just not good enough.

Now that doesn’t mean that is your full identity and you walk around feeling terrible all day.

But, those energies of wondering if you will be too much, or doing something wrong, do run in the background of your mind and influence your daily habits.

Whatever you don’t accept about yourself others can show up and attack those parts.

Only because you judge and reject it within.

When you can allow the shameful, yucky, and “unwanted” parts to just be there without making them wrong; that is true freedom.

You hold yourself in bondage by pushing again...