Are you experiencing fear of change?

Avoiding change for fear of betraying family and sometimes friends is one of the most common patterns I’ve seen over the years.

Yes, you consciously want to change and continue to do many things to create change.

But, there’s an unconscious feeling of guilt that will thwart your efforts and choices, until it is resolved.

As children we needed approval in order to survive.

But, you are still carrying old beliefs and fears that were taught to you, and they are controlling your life in big and small ways.

The good news is, a belief can be changed.

You must first be willing to admit you have certain fears and beliefs.

Then you can question them and finally set yourself free from them…if you choose.

Thankfully, these fears leave lots of clues that are pretty easy to spot.

What area or areas of your life do you seem to continuously experience struggle and disappointment?

I’ll share a few common areas and belief patterns.

• Romantic Re...

Recently I was having a conversation with someone who was worried that an important package was lost or wouldn't get to its destination on time.

They were visibly stressed and I could tell that they had decided that it was out of their control.

The post office may or may not figure it out, but it was left up to chance at this point.

I suggested that this person imagine that instead of them being told that their package was delayed, see or hear that the package has already quickly and easily arrived at its destination.

They looked back at me perplexed as they were still trying to figure out how.

I reminded them that how it will happen is NOT their job and just decide that it is done!

It is already figured out and embody the feeling of relief that the mail is already delivered.

Within 45 min they emailed me to say how blown away they were that the post office had in fact reached out shortly after our call to say the mail was found and would be delivered on time! 

I hear and ...

Do you tend to play small?

As a child were you told that you were too much?

Maybe you heard messages like; don’t say that, stop running around and being so loud.

Or, you might have been more naturally quiet and sensitive. Labeled as shy, passive. Picked on and told to loosen up and relax a bit more. 

Whatever the specific messages were for you at some point you decided that you’re too much of something and just not good enough.

Now that doesn’t mean that is your full identity and you walk around feeling terrible all day.

But, those energies of wondering if you will be too much, or doing something wrong, do run in the background of your mind and influence your daily habits.

Whatever you don’t accept about yourself others can show up and attack those parts.

Only because you judge and reject it within.

When you can allow the shameful, yucky, and “unwanted” parts to just be there without making them wrong; that is true freedom.

You hold yourself in bondage by pushing again...

Have you ever known someone who struggles in basically every area of their life?

No matter what they do they can’t seem to catch a break. They work super hard and try to be optimistic, yet things seem to stay the same or get worse for them.

It can often be difficult to know what to say to be encouraging or supportive when outwardly it looks like they are doing "all the right '' things.

But, they aren't getting the results they want.

The person clearly has thought loops such as…

I keep working hard, but nothing is going right. Maybe I'm not working hard enough; I'll work harder, hmm but that won't work either since I've tried that before, ugh I suck! I have no idea what to do, nothing works for me!!

So with all those thoughts spinning, you’ll feel worse and worse focusing and activating more of what you don't want.

A vicious cycle. It's like getting caught on a crappy thought hamster wheel.

So what can you do about it?

First be aware when you’re focused on the...