4 Signs you might be addicted to Unhappiness

Are you stuck in a sad story?

Do you find that you feel an urge to continuously talk about a certain negative event?

We all have unpleasant experiences and some can be traumatic and take a moment to move past.

But, you may notice at times you are overindulging in an unpleasant story/memory.

There is a big difference between searching for a different perspective/healing of something and getting value out of rehashing it.

Here are 4 common patterns I see with overindulging in unhappy stories: 

1.  You get attention- There’s nothing wrong with attention. But if you grew up with neglect(that’s just one example) you may find yourself unconsciously craving attention, even if it comes from drama and unpleasant experiences.
2.   A distraction/excuse- To not choose something different. This is often a way we avoid responsibility for creating our lives. Yes, even the so-called “bad stuff” But, you can choose something entirely different at any moment.
3.  Approval- Connecting to others through problems and complaining.
4.  Wanting to be heard- Sometimes you just want to be heard. To know that your feelings matter and that might be all that’s required for you to move on from something.

What do you require in order to resolve this story?

Your feelings are absolutely valid. However, do you truly want to keep looping in these thoughts that cause you to not feel good?

Maybe you want an apology, but you also assume the person will never apologize. Or perhaps the person isn’t alive anymore.

Well, you can give yourself an apology. You can assume that you received the “I’m sorry” or you can decide that you’re going to forgive yourself for anything you think you did wrong. 

It's so easy to blame someone else for how you feel but that will only keep you trapped.

Allow yourself to feel angry, disappointed, sad.

Whatever you feel; and get it out of your system!

Forgive yourself for creating the situation, even if you don’t think you did.

Imagine what you would create if you were no longer expending any energy on this old story. Now doesn’t that feel way better?! 

It is safe to be happy :-)