Bitch n Dump

I may have shared this story with you before, but it's so good I’m inspired to mention it again.

Years ago I was on my first cruise and I’ll never forget something I heard.

As I eagerly listened to the first message from the captain I was perplexed by something he said.

He went on and on about how excited he was to have everyone here and that they would go above and beyond to make us all happy during our trip.

To the point that they had specifically set up things around the ship for people to complain about.

Huh?!

Complaining about things, how is that good?

He went on to explain that they had learned that complaining made many people happy. So, they set up things for people to complain about.

This particular massage was loaded with life changing awareness.

It caused me to look at different versions of happiness and each person's compulsions around how they attempt to get their needs met.

What do you get out of complaining?

Some common motivations to complain are… getting love and approval to feel like you're fitting in.

Many of us were taught to connect to others through problems.

Attention, the belief that any attention is good attention.

Sympathy, or perhaps the need to be right and seek validation.

There are times that we need to speak up and “complain” when we need help with something or feel there’s a problem that needs addressing. 

But knowing your TRUE motivation behind making a complaint is so helpful in determining if you really want to speak up, and how do you know you've met your goal?

If you don’t check in and admit what you need or love about complaining you risk chronic dumping and seeking conflict.

Let’s assume you are reading my newsletters and blogs because you want to improve your life or creating a happy fulfilling life is important to you.

How well do you think that will work if you are just going to keep rehashing stories about things you don’t like?

Not very well at all!

You’ll be stuck in thought loops focusing on everything you don’t like and continue having more of the same show up in your life.

So, if you’ve been bitching about something for a while now and it hasn’t changed…ask yourself, do I really want it to?

No, great to know.

But stop acting like a victim and just admit you don’t want it to change.

If you'd like help clearing victim beliefs you can check out my Playing the Victim Clearing. 

However; if you really want a change, you can ask yourself what are some things you can do to change this.

It may be to ask for help, do some research.

But I can promise you the answer isn’t to keep finding new people to dump the same old story on.

Here are a few questions to help you get more clear:

1. What need am I trying to get met by complaining?
2. Do I want to continue this old story, or tell a new better feeling story? (No wrong answers)
3. Is this the right person to help me with this complaint/problem?

Final note: I am not referring to venting, which we all need to do sometimes.

I am talking about chronic complaining, looking for problems and NOT really wanting a solution.

What if it is safe for you to be happy and feel good? Have a beautiful day!

If you’re tired of feeling like a victim to life and all your problems. And ready to feel POWERFUL, clear and confident. Check out my Playing the Victim Clearing :-)