There’s often so much guilt associated with self care and a lot of confusion about what it is exactly. Self care is about truly honoring our needs and potential. If we don’t take care of ourselves and our needs first we really have nothing available to give others. Not taking time for ourselves often comes at a price.
Generally women are known to be self sacrificing and always encouraged to put others needs before their own. Often depicted as the frazzled mother who doesn’t have time to shower or eat and even in the workplace preferring not to speak up on important issues in order to keep the peace, be liked and please others. Consistently putting us last on our list eventually causes lack of self esteem, resentment and fatigue, amongst other unwanted side effects..
Now we have Selfish.. What is Selfish? To me selfish is when we constantly do whatever we want without any care or concern of how our actions affect others. We must realize that we are all co-creating our realities and that everything we do affects everyone and everything else. Sometimes there’s a fine line between what we want and what we need, and often people can perceive wants as selfish but we must really start to check in with ourselves about what we actually require in order to function at our best!
A good question you can ask yourself so you have more clarity as to whether you're perhaps being selfish or if you're simply engaging in self care is... Would I like it if someone treated me the way I’m treating them? If the answer is no, perhaps you may want to adjust your approach, be a bit more compromising at times. You may even become aware that you are making excuses for rude or inconsiderate ways you’re behaving that are masquerading as self care. It is very eye opening to how this can be so out of balance in our lives at times.
So, take a few moments this week to start noticing how much time you're really taking for yourself, if you're being honoring and considerate of others needs too. And adjust things if you feel you need more personal time and notice how much happier and content you feel when you allow yourself this YOU time. Love and blessings to everyone :-)