Disappointments-Healing From Them

When was the last time you felt disappointed?

Not the little letdowns like there’s no more cookies but you were really hankering for one.

But, the big and sometimes blindsiding disappointments that make you question why you bother and sometimes life itself.

Yes, I get it that this isn’t a comfortable topic but it's these types of experiences that are often STILL having a huge impact on your life, even many years after something has happened.

How do you know if past disappointments are influencing your choices in unwanted ways?

You could find yourself ruminating over situations, avoidance, regret, doubt/mistrust of self and others.

There are lots of other ways disappointments can express themselves, but these are some of the most common that I have seen and experienced personally.

Let's look at each one a little deeper.

Ruminating- Examples like catching yourself arguing with someone and replaying a scene from 10 years ago thinking of all the things you’d say or do to prove your point and get the upper hand in a conversation. 

Avoidance- Trying to act like everything is fine, not acknowledging feelings. And fear of doing things you want to do because you expect you’ll only be disappointed again: perhaps even worse than before. So you try to convince yourself you don’t want those things in order to spare yourself more hurt.

Doubt & Mistrust- Having your guard up and always assuming things will go wrong. Or expecting people to be shady and let you down. You may think having your guard up is protecting you but it is actually creating more of what you are “trying to avoid.” Shady people that let you down….

It's OK if you catch yourself doing any of those things mentioned above.

But, getting stuck in those patterns is a sign that you’re not currently in your full power, awareness, or choice.

They are very addictive loops of distraction that can feel satisfying like you’re doing something but you’re really just looping around in the same old story. 

What if you decide that you’re going to stop ruminating and create a scene that went how you wanted?

Or if you’re rehashing a yucky memory you can choose to stop, break the habit, and get busy creating something you’ve been putting off.

Re-train yourself to use your powerful focus toward things that will build you up instead of tearing you down and keeping you stuck. 

It just takes practice. The more you make a different choice in each moment the easier it gets. And eventually, you won’t think about those things anymore and if you do you will quickly be able to shift your focus to more uplifting things. 

The last thing I’d like to mention about disappointment is that it isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Sure you wanted something to go a certain way but maybe you were just being guided to way better things.

So often we set the bar very low for ourselves.

But we don’t notice at the time because we think something is such a huge deal that we’re unable to see how much more we can ask for and receive. 

Maybe it's time to stop playing small and claim your dreams as inevitable!!